Digital Etiquette for Vow Renewal Guests: A Modern Guide

In today’s digital world, it’s easy to assume that posting updates about everything, from RSVPs to event details, is the norm. However, when it comes to attending special events like vow renewals, there’s a more mindful and respectful digital etiquette to follow. Just because you’re close to the couple doesn’t mean that sharing every moment of their special day online is appropriate. Here’s your guide to being a considerate guest while navigating the digital age at a vow renewal celebration.

1. Don’t RSVP via Social Media

While you might be used to shooting off a quick message or posting on social media for everyday plans, vow renewals require a more formal response. Unless the couple has specifically mentioned that RSVPs are accepted via social media, it’s best to stick to the method provided on the invitation. Typically, this will be a mailed card, a wedding website, or an email, but not Twitter or Facebook.

Why it Matters:
Social media posts can be easily missed, especially during the busy time of planning an event. Plus, announcing your RSVP on a public platform could create unnecessary drama if the couple hasn’t invited everyone in their online circles.

Tip:
Always check the RSVP instructions on the invitation and follow them precisely. If no method is specified, reach out to the couple privately through direct message or email.

2. Avoid Posting Details of the Event Online

It’s tempting to share exciting news with your followers, but refrain from posting the vow renewal invitation details online. Sharing times, dates, or venues on public platforms like Facebook or Twitter can lead to uninvited guests showing up or putting pressure on the couple to invite others who weren’t originally included.

Why it Matters:
The couple may have limited the guest list for specific reasons, such as budget, venue capacity, or the desire for an intimate gathering. Sharing the details could unintentionally expose private information to people who weren’t invited.

Tip:
If you’re excited to share that you’ll be attending a vow renewal, keep your posts general, like “Looking forward to celebrating [couple’s] special day next week!” without including specific event details.

3. Don’t Post Negative Comments Online

Venting about minor inconveniences related to the vow renewal—like the dress code, food choices, or location—on social media may feel harmless, but it can quickly damage your relationship with the couple. Complaining about any aspect of the event publicly is not only rude but also hurtful.

Why it Matters:
Negative comments online are visible to everyone, including the couple and other guests. Once something is posted, it’s difficult to take back, and it may create unnecessary tension or cause a rift in your friendship.

Tip:
If you encounter an issue or have feedback about the event, address it privately with the couple after the celebration, and always frame it in a positive and respectful way.

4. Be Mindful of Posting Pictures and Videos

While it’s tempting to capture every moment of the vow renewal and post it online, remember that this is a private event. Always ask for the couple’s permission before sharing photos or videos on social media. Additionally, avoid posting unflattering or personal moments that could embarrass the couple or other guests.

Why it Matters:
Not everyone is comfortable having their pictures or videos shared publicly, and the couple may have hired a professional photographer whose photos they’d prefer to share first. Posting without permission could take away from their ability to control the narrative of their special day.

Tip:
If you’re unsure about whether the couple is okay with sharing photos, it’s always best to ask. Consider sending them a message after the event with the photos you took and let them decide if or when they’d like to share them publicly.

5. Don’t Give a Play-by-Play of the Event

Live-tweeting or sharing minute-by-minute updates of someone’s vow renewal can come across as disrespectful. It’s fine to share highlights or a thoughtful post after the event, but avoid giving a running commentary while the celebration is still unfolding.

Why it Matters:
The couple has invited you to share in an intimate celebration, not to broadcast every moment of it. Focus on being present and respectful during the event, rather than glued to your phone or social media.

Tip:
Instead of posting live updates, enjoy the event fully, take in the moments, and maybe share a thoughtful recap afterward, highlighting how beautiful or meaningful the vow renewal was without oversharing.

6. Respect the Couple’s Wishes Regarding Technology

Some couples might request a phone-free or unplugged ceremony, asking guests to keep their phones away so they can fully engage in the experience. If the couple has made this request, respect it.

Why it Matters:
This ensures that the ceremony remains intimate, and guests are fully present without distractions. Plus, it allows the couple to have control over how their special day is captured and shared.

Tip:
If the couple asks for an unplugged ceremony, leave your phone in your bag or pocket. You can always take photos or videos during the reception if allowed, but keep your focus on enjoying the event without technology.

Final Thoughts on Digital Etiquette for Guests

While social media is a major part of our lives, it’s essential to remember that vow renewals are personal and private events. Practicing good digital etiquette ensures that you respect the couple’s wishes and maintain the focus on the celebration, rather than creating unnecessary distractions or drama. By following these guidelines, you’ll be the perfect digital-age guest—thoughtful, present, and respectful.