Etiquette for Vow Renewal Attendants

Vow renewal ceremonies are a beautiful way to celebrate your lasting commitment. If you’re considering having attendants, it’s important to understand proper etiquette. This guide covers everything you need to know about vow renewal attendant roles, expectations, and how to make sure your ceremony reflects your unique journey together.

Can You Have Attendants for Your Vow Renewal?

Absolutely! Having attendants at your vow renewal is a lovely way to honor those who have been part of your journey. Traditionally, vow renewal attendants are the same people who stood by your side during your wedding, but it’s perfectly fine to invite new friends, family members, or even your children to fill these roles. The important thing is that these attendants have played a significant part in your life and your marriage, making them perfect companions on this special day.

Vow Renewal Attendants: Roles and Expectations

Unlike a wedding, where attendants often have specific duties, vow renewals are much more relaxed. Your attendants are there primarily to support you and celebrate your lasting commitment. They don’t need to plan events like a bachelorette party, coordinate vendors, or help with invitations.

Here’s what to expect from your vow renewal attendants:

• Presence: Their primary duty is simply to be present and supportive during the ceremony and reception.
• Attire: Attendants should wear what you request, but it’s important to be considerate of their comfort and preferences. If you have something specific in mind, communicate that clearly.
• Timeliness: You can expect them to arrive on time for the ceremony and any pre-ceremony events like photographs.

Your vow renewal is a time to celebrate your ongoing love, not to add stress. Keep expectations light, and make sure everyone involved knows they are there to celebrate, not to work.

Who Pays for What?

One of the most common questions is, “Who pays for attendants’ attire and travel?” Since a vow renewal is a celebration hosted by a married couple, it’s typically expected that you cover any expenses for your attendants, such as special attire or travel costs if they need to come from out of town. If this isn’t feasible, it’s okay to skip having attendants altogether or opt for a more informal approach where no specific attire is required.

Honoring Your Attendants with Grace

Inviting someone to be a vow renewal attendant is a special honor, so treat it as such. It’s important to remember that your attendants are there voluntarily, and it’s a reflection of the love and support they’ve shown you throughout your marriage. Be gracious in your requests and considerate of their other commitments. While some may offer to help with planning or other tasks, it’s important not to assume this is their role.

To express your gratitude, you might consider a small token of appreciation, like a heartfelt note or a special mention during the ceremony.

Modern Etiquette Tips for Vow Renewal Attendants

• Do I need attendants if I didn’t have them at my wedding?: Of course not! Your vow renewal is a chance to create new memories, whether or not you had attendants at your wedding.
• Should attendants give speeches?: This is entirely optional. If they wish to, great! But don’t feel obligated to include speeches in your ceremony unless you want them.
• What if someone says no?: If an invited attendant declines, be understanding. Life commitments may prevent them from participating, but their support is still felt.

Still Want to Have Attendants?

If you’ve decided to have attendants for your vow renewal, make sure they understand their role. You can share our article on Duties for Vow Renewal Attendants  with them to ensure everyone is on the same page. Most importantly, enjoy your day and the love you’ve built together!