How to Politely Send Regrets for a Vow Renewal Invitation

Q: Our close friends are having a vow renewal, but we can’t attend due to a previously booked vacation in Hawaii. What’s the proper way to send our regrets?

A: It’s always tough to decline an invitation to a special event, especially one as meaningful as a vow renewal. However, life happens, and it’s important to handle your regrets with grace, ensuring your friends feel your love and support even if you can’t be there in person. Here are some thoughtful ways to send your regrets and express your heartfelt congratulations:

1. Return the RSVP Promptly

Your first step should be to send back the RSVP card as soon as possible. This allows the couple to finalize their guest list, and potentially invite someone else if space allows. Even if you plan on calling or sending a personal note, returning the RSVP ensures there’s no confusion.

• Tip: Be sure to check the RSVP deadline and don’t wait until the last minute. The sooner you respond, the better.

2. Write a Personal Handwritten Note

A handwritten note adds a personal touch and shows that you truly care about the couple’s special day. Here’s an example of how you might express your regrets while sending your best wishes:

Dear Karie and Michael,
We are so excited to hear about your upcoming vow renewal! It’s hard to believe that ten years have already passed. Thank you so much for including us in your celebration. Unfortunately, we won’t be able to attend as we’ll be in Hawaii, but we will be thinking of you on March 2nd. Sending our love and best wishes!
Congratulations again,
Tami and Chuck Stephens

• Tip: If you can, try to mail your note along with your RSVP to ensure it arrives promptly. Including specific details about the event shows your genuine enthusiasm.

3. Send a Thoughtful Card

If writing a longer note isn’t your style, sending a card is a wonderful alternative. Look for an anniversary or vow renewal card that conveys warm wishes. Inside, you can write a short, heartfelt message that congratulates the couple and briefly explains why you can’t attend.

• Tip: Make sure to include both your regrets and a congratulatory message, focusing on their love and commitment rather than your absence.

4. Make a Phone Call

For close friends, a phone call can be a more personal way to express your regrets. Hearing your voice will let them know that, even though you can’t be there, you’re still thinking about them. During the call, share your excitement for their vow renewal and suggest getting together to celebrate after the event.

• Tip: Be sure to make the call as soon as you know you can’t attend. This shows respect for their planning process and gives them time to adjust guest counts or plans if needed.

A Final Note: Be Considerate and Timely

The key to sending regrets is to do so promptly and with sincerity. Don’t delay in responding, as your timely reply could give your friends the chance to extend an invitation to someone else. Also, avoid making excuses or changing your mind last-minute. Once you’ve made the decision not to attend, stick to it, and focus on how you can celebrate with your friends another time.