Do I have to invite entire families or can I just invite adults?

Q: Is it necessary to invite entire families to a vow renewal, or can I invite just the adults?

A: It is entirely appropriate to invite only the adult members of a family to your vow renewal. Many couples prefer an adults-only event, whether for budget reasons, venue limitations, or simply because they want a more formal atmosphere. The key is to be clear and considerate in how you communicate this preference to avoid any misunderstandings.

How to Invite Adults-Only to Your Vow Renewal

When inviting only adults, it’s important to ensure the invitation clearly reflects your intentions. Here are a few ways to handle this gracefully:

1. Address the Invitation Properly
   The invitation should be addressed solely to the adults being invited. For example, “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” signals that only the two of them are invited, whereas “The Smith Family” would indicate that the whole household, including children, is welcome. If children’s names are left off the invitation, it’s a polite indication that they are not included.
2. Clarify on the RSVP Card
   To avoid any potential confusion, you can include the number of adults invited on the RSVP card itself. For example:
   “We have reserved 2 seats in your honor.”
   This subtle cue helps clarify the intention and prevents guests from assuming that their children are also invited.
3. Include a Polite Note
   Another way to make it clear that the event is for adults only is to include a note within the invitation that reads something like:
   “We kindly request that our celebration be for adults only.”
   This straightforward statement ensures that your wishes are communicated without ambiguity.

What to Do If Guests RSVP for Their Children Anyway

Even with your best efforts, some guests may still RSVP for their children due to unfamiliarity with invitation etiquette. Here’s how to handle this situation politely:

1. Respond Graciously but Firmly
   If a guest RSVP’s with their children included, reach out to them with a gracious explanation. Politely remind them that the event is adults-only and express your understanding of any inconvenience this might cause.

   Example Response:
   “Thank you so much for your RSVP! We’re really excited to celebrate with you. However, I just wanted to clarify that our event is for adults only. I hope this doesn’t cause too much trouble, and we completely understand if this affects your ability to attend. Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help!”

2. Offer Suggestions for Childcare
   For guests traveling with children or for those who might have difficulty arranging childcare, you could offer suggestions or resources for local babysitters or childcare services. If the venue allows, consider setting up a separate childcare area so that parents can enjoy the celebration worry-free.

Why Couples Choose Adults-Only Vow Renewals

There are several valid reasons why a couple may opt for an adults-only vow renewal:

• Atmosphere: Some couples want a more formal or sophisticated atmosphere for their event, which may be easier to achieve without children present.
• Budget: Limiting the guest list to adults only helps keep costs down, especially when it comes to catering, seating, and entertainment.
• Venue Limitations: Certain venues may have space constraints or policies that aren’t suitable for children, especially those that serve alcohol or have limited seating.
• Personal Preference: Some couples simply prefer to have an intimate, adults-only event without the added dynamic of children.

Final Thoughts

Inviting only adults to your vow renewal is perfectly acceptable and often makes sense for many couples. The key is to communicate your intentions clearly through the invitation and RSVP process, and to handle any misunderstandings with grace and politeness. By setting expectations upfront, you can avoid potential awkwardness and ensure your celebration is exactly as you envisioned it.